


I'm never going back

by Krilymcc (KristiLynn)



Category: Dead Like Me, Joan of Arcadia
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-20
Updated: 2011-06-20
Packaged: 2017-10-20 14:38:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KristiLynn/pseuds/Krilymcc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joan always knew this day would come one day. She just didn’t know that day would be this soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm never going back

Joan always knew this day would come one day. She just didn’t know that day would be this soon. 

- 

She didn’t see the bus coming. 

The day started out normally enough. She woke up, showered, dressed, got in a fight with Kevin over his taking the last waffle, and then she went out to meet up with Grace and Adam. Totally normal. 

But on the way, she ran into  _him_. He didn’t say anything to her, didn’t wave, he just stared at her and then turned and walked away. But the thing is, he looked almost sad, like he could have cried. 

That’s when she should have known something was wrong. She should have turned around right then and there, gone home, called Grace and Adam and told them that she couldn’t meet them today. It would have been so easy. 

But she didn’t go home, in fact, she quickly pushed it all out of her mind because in a matter of seconds there was a blonde literally running into her. 

“Oh my god.” The blonde laughed, “I need to watch where I’m going. Are you okay?” 

“Fine.” Joan smiled, “Didn’t hurt a bit.” 

“Good. I‘m Daisy by the way. Daisy Adair.” 

“I’m Joan.” 

“Joan Girardi?” 

Joan just stares at her. “You know,” Daisy reached out and ran a hand over Joan’s scarf, “That’s beautiful.” 

“Thanks. My mom made it.” 

The woman kept her hand on the scarf for a moment longer than Joan was comfortable with and she took a step back. 

“Umm.” Joan pushed a strand of hair out of her face, “I have to go.” 

“Of course. Have a good day.” 

“You too.” 

If only Joan knew then that this strange moment would be one of the last things that would ever happen to her. 

But she didn’t know she didn’t have any reason to think that it would be. 

So she went on her way down the street, without a care in the world. And that youthful innocence is what made her cross the street without looking. It’s what made her not see the bus running the red light, or the car that was being driven by a newly license driver who just had to tell all of her friends the good news. 

- 

 _What happened? What happened? What happened?_  That was all Joan could think. This was understandable considering what had just happened. 

Then she saw what had happened, she saw the bus and the car that had collided. And she saw the large group forming around it, the group which seemed to be more fascinated with what was between the vehicles that the people in them. 

And that’s when it occurs to Joan, she had been right there. 

“You okay?” Another young blonde woman said coming up to her. 

Joan didn’t say anything; she’s to busy pacing back and forth trying to catch her breath. 

“Okay, come here.” The stranger took Joan by the arm and led her to a nearby outdoor coffee shop, “Sit.” 

“Was that me there?” Joan asked, “Between that car and the bus, was that me?” 

“Yeah.” 

“No. No, no, no. You‘re lying.” 

“Afraid not.” 

“I’m dead? Like dead, dead?” 

“Yep.” 

“Oh God.” 

“I’m serious, sit down.” The woman pushed Joan into a chair. 

“Who are you?” 

“I’m George. I’m undead, it’s my job to help you come to terms with what has happened and accept the next stage in your afterlife.” She sounded like she was reading off of some cue card. 

“I can’t be dead, I didn’t feel anything.” 

“For the more violent deaths we take your soul before you die. It’s easier that way.” 

“Oh easier. Thanks.” 

It seemed Joan was skipping right past the other grief stages and was settling on Anger, which was fine with George. 

“Hey, it is easier. You don’t want to think what it’s like to be stuck in there after that.”

“He made you do this didn’t he?” 

George furrowed her brow, “Who?” 

Joan rolled her eyes like it was the dumbest question she’d ever heard, “God.” 

“I don’t know who gives the orders. We just follow them.” 

“Where’s that woman who touched me before I died? Maybe she’ll know.” 

“Believe me, if I don’t know she won’t know. And besides she’s not here anymore.” 

“What she just snatched my soul and took off? Did she have something better to do or something?” 

“You were her last reap. She doesn‘t work for us anymore.” 

“Where’d she go?” 

George shrugged. “Now, you want to get out of here? They’re about to move the car, I don’t think you want to see that.” 

- 

George stuck with her for the next few days, she listened to Joan when she needed to rant, made the occasional sarcastic comment which Joan found helpful. And then on the fourth day George took her back to her home where everyone had gathered for her wake. 

“I can’t do this.” Joan said standing on her, what used to be her, front porch. 

“Okay. You don’t have. You can leave right now. But you’re not going to see your family and friends again for a really long time, if ever. This’ll be your last time to say goodbye.” 

Joan sighed, “Fine. Lets go in.” 

It seemed like everyone in town was in her living room, wanting to pay their respects. 

 _If only I was this popular when I was alive._  Joan couldn’t help but think. 

“Come on.” 

George led her over to a woman that Joan vaguely recognized as someone who worked with her father. 

George was quick to introduce her, “Roxie, this is Joan. Could you keep an eye on her for a little bit? There‘s something I need to do.” 

“I’m not a babysitter. Besides I’m still on vacation.” 

George sighed, “Roxie.” 

“Fine. But if she wanders off it’s not my fault.” 

“Thank you Roxie.” 

Joan did wander off, almost as soon as George got out of eyesight she was walking around the house, looking for her family. 

Grace, Adam and Kevin were sitting off by themselves in the living room, their eyes red and their skin blotchy and it was obvious they had been crying. Her dad was walking around thanking everyone for coming. And her mom was in the kitchen cleaning up, obviously trying everything she could to hold herself together. 

But there was one person missing. 

She hadn’t seen Luke since he left for MIT two months earlier, she’d barely spoken to him except for the occasional text or facebook message. She never even gave him an appropriate goodbye. It was just the usual, “Yeah, whatever loser. Get out of here.” 

But she was gone now, and she’d never get the chance to say goodbye to him again. 

She found him up in his room laying on his bed crying into his pillow. Joan just wanted to take him in her arms and hold him, telling him everything would be all right just like she did after Kevin’s accident. But all she could do was lay down beside him, put her head up next to his and tell him that she was okay, that it didn’t hurt, that there was a big light waiting to take her to someplace better than this and hope that somehow he heard her. 

- 

Joan stormed down the stairs, into the living room and up to George who was standing with Roxie and some guy who was terribly dressed. 

“Fuck Mason you couldn’t have put on a different shirt?” George scolded him. 

“Christ, who died and made you Daisy? Besides, you should just be glad I was able to avoid the blood spray. And it’s not like I even know this person.” He took a bite of a cocktail wiener, “whose funeral is this anyway?” 

“Mine,” Joan told him and then turned to George, “And I’m leaving.” 

“Okay, let me just--” 

“Now.” Then she stormed out of the house. 

“Hey!” George called out following her. “Stop!” 

“I’m done!” Joan told her, spinning around, “I want my white light, I want my better place. I cannot stay here anymore, see my family hurting, and not do a thing. I accept that I am dead and I am ready to move on. So let’s make that happen.” 

“There’s not going to be a white light for you.” 

“No.” Joan shook her head, “I did not spend all those years talking to God, doing what he told me to do, having people think I was crazy to go to Hell! It’s not happening.” 

“You’re not going to Hell. You’re staying here. As a reaper.” 

Joan collapsed on the ground and began to sob, “Are you kidding me?” 

“I know how you’re feeling. I was your age when I died and it fucking sucked. And I hated being a reaper, having to take people souls, see them move on while I was still stuck here. But you know what? I’m okay now. And you will too. So stand your skinny ass up and let’s get out of here. Okay?” 

“I like this side of you.” Joan whipped her eyes with her sleeve. 

“Good, ‘cause you’re one of us now and that means no more babying you.” 

“Good.” 

And so the two began to walk away from the house, away from Joan’s old life, and towards her new one. They both were unsure what was going to happen next, if Joan would really be able to do this, but no matter what George would be with her every step of the way.


End file.
